You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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