Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
