Little spoons don't ask big questions
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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