it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
