Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
