Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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