Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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