Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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