walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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