O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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