Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
