Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
