the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize