The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
