why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
