just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
