I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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