Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
