my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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