i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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