i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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