I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
