Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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