i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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