ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
