i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
