don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
