Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
