I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
