I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
