small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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