No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
