i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She told me I should be a condom model.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize