You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
