Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
