I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
