hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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