piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
