so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize