he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
