Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do herpes really smell.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
