More tranny stories later!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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