Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
