I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
