She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
