I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
