1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
