when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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