It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
