I love black thongs
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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