You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
