I'm so fucking centered right now
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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