why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize