Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
