Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize