JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
being pregnant is like rehab
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
