White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
