Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
do nipples grow back?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
