I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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